She burns like the sun

Thinking about getting away for a couple of days. Motel room at the beach, perhaps? Just need some time to myself, to talk to God, to set my priorities straight, drink tea, and take walks.

• I’m fine.
• Yeah, of course I remember when we met that time at that thing!
• No, of course I don’t mind.
• I’m not ticklish. 

On Friday I was talking to my female workmate about sexual harassment, rape, etc. I was a bit shocked at the level of victim-blaming that a young, independent Australian woman was willing to come out with. 

Oh, and the word she used to describe the occasional situation where a woman was doing “all the right things” - walking down a well lit street in decent clothes, for example - and was still victimized? “Unfortunate.”

Now, despite four years studying highly relevant topics at university, I couldn’t reason with her (in part due to my lack of eloquence). So I’m going to vent here.

(The next paragraph is potentially upsetting)

“Unfortunate” is when you miss the bus or trip over in the street. Not when a man consciously chooses to take hold of the body of a woman or man, verbally degrade her/him, rip off her/his clothing and have forced sexual intercourse with them, while getting off on the power trip of it all. 

“Unfortunate” doesn’t quite cover that, my dear. And even though you perhaps didn’t mean it exactly as it sounded…language is important. Meanings matter. Attitudes shape behaviour. 

Sometimes I imagine that one day in the distant future, I’ll be driving my children home from school and Simple Song by The Shins will come on the radio and I’ll say “now kids, let me tell you a story”…

Got the following in an email: “There wasn’t much communication between us…I take responsibility for this…I haven’t seen what you have written but again I apologise…I wish you well for the future…”

It’s fine. I mean whatever, I found something better anyway. It’s not like I care. Why would I care!? They can do what they want… Okay, I do care. I wish they wanted me to stay. :’(

Changing jobs can be hilariously awkward sometimes :D

Love is when you choose to put someone else first even when your emotions don’t match up or your heart doesn’t agree. Am I afraid of being hurt? Yes. Do I hope that acting in a loving way will result in my own personal happiness? Of course! But as long as I allow those two motivators to guide my thinking - or rather, as long as I swing violently between them - nothing will make sense. I am consciously choosing to make decisions based on the good of the other person. What happens to me as a result will be dealt with, and I’ll get by.

T, I told you I loved you. Now I’m going to make that true. Even if it hurts.

If you keep falling off a bicycle, hurting yourself, and even crashing it into the person who let you use it - is there a point where you ought to leave the bike on the ground and limp away as gracefully as you can? Or should you keep trying to ride because when you occasionally find your balance, it’s the loveliest thing you’ve ever known?